Just so you know, if you actually read this blog, I have moved to Tumblr.

http://comaripper.tumblr.com/

I may come back every once and a while to post here, but mostly I'm on Tumblr. I know that since this is oh-so-fascinating, I shall... nevermind. Screw it. I think I'm going to finish typing up my latest post on Tumblr 8D.

I'm Still Alive

Though I know that it's apparent, I'm still grateful for being alive. I don't know who to be grateful to, though. But whatever, that's not really important. I stayed up late last night, listening to Christina Aguilera's "Beautiful" and sobbing. I was thinking about all the evils in the world and wanting to help change that. But first, as you all know, you have to change yourself.

I was thinking about wanting to believe that I was beautiful, even after being emotionally abused by my father and my fellow students when I was younger. I know I can get there, but it's gonna take a while, (when I say 'awhile' I mean years...) and that I've always been wanting to be a good person. You can call me a do-gooder if you want. But that's one of the things, I really, truly, want. I want to be the shoulder to cry on. I want to be the good Samaritan. I really do. But I guess that's not really the point of this post. I don't know what the point is yet. It seems to me that I'm always the one that does the crying, yet it's almost never the other way around. I wish I knew how to change that.
I wish I knew how to be that kind of person. For example, if I had a baby that was born with a horrible health problem that greatly affected his or her appearance, I would want to say "you're still beautiful to me". Yet, I would probably be freaked out. Greatly. When I lived in Italy, I would always pass women when walking down the street that had young children in their arms, begging. Of course, you could never know when the person REALLY needed help and when they didn't. You really couldn't tell. I just wish I had been more considerate and kind. A lot of people tell me I'm very nice, but I find that hard to believe. I think I'm just average, but then again, sometimes other people see us better than we see ourselves if not a lot of the time. I don't know what I'm saying, but hopefully someone out there can interpret what I'm trying to say, because I have a very vague idea...

You have my blessings,
Coma Ripper

I know I keep blabbing about it... but Camii, this is for you.

Fuck you,
Coma Ripper

The Same BS Over and Over Again...

Please, Camii. Yes, we know you love him. Until next Tuesday, probably. Then it'll be someone else. This "love" you have for this person is what I call shallow infatuation. If you're 18, and you still haven't grown out of the "I love this person" --two weeks later-- "Mehh... you're okay" thing that young teenagers go through, you're hopeless. I'M not the person that ended the relationship. I just stood by, wondering what the hell was going wrong. Frankly, I couldn't give a shit about what people think I should be doing instead of bitching about it. In the end, I'll get over it. For right now, I'll bitch all I want.

Cheers,
Coma Ripper

This is Something I Wrote a While Back, and I Thought I'd Share...

If you have a Twitter account, you probably know that "If Precious had a Twitter" was a TT yesterday. After seeing the horrible, incredibly rude, and unnecessary comments made addressing her weight, I was infuriated. Knowing how it feels to be made fun of for something that really doesn't matter, I was saddened by wondering how the woman would feel if she saw those idiot's comments. Of course, I don't support being unkind to your body by eating too much, but nobody knows if she has a heatlh problem that causes a person to gain weight (like I do) or has to take medication that has caused her to gain weight (again, like I do). But even if she doesn't, whatever happened to acceptance? Just because she made poor choices in her eating doesn't mean she should be verbally attacked. I'm just saddened that people have gotten this stupid...

LUST.

And of course...

I Still Love You

I still love you, even though you broke my heart. You led me on, telling me that you loved me and that you had an emotional bond with me that you never had with anyone before. I felt safe. And loved. You tore that apart. I thought you loved me and I LOVE YOU. Yet, even if we do get back together, I'll never trust you again. I just can't get my heart to forgive you. You lied to me, telling me that you were still dating me, and then you got another girlfriend. Two days later, you were single again. Now you have another boyfriend. I wanted you all to myself, I didn't want to share. That should've been obvious.